My Parents Left Me Home Alone And Left Forever. I Was 6

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Hi! I’m Amber and I’m 13. Has anyone ever betrayed you? I hope not, but I think that you’re probably able to imagine how painful it is to know that your parents never wanted to have you.

Imagine... you open your eyes in the morning after having had another nightmare about monsters torturing you, and can’t find anybody from your family at home. You search for them, you call for them, and then you just begin to cry, because there's no mom, and there's no dad to come find you and calm you down. Well, this happened to me when I was 6.

I’d gotten really scared. We lived in the poorest neighborhood and in the smallest apartment ever, but when I was left there alone that day, it seemed huge and full of monsters to me. I remember that I cried so hard that I fell back to sleep again. And I kept opening my eyes, noticing that nobody had come, and closing them back again. And I had that dream about monsters and they told me that nobody wanted me and I felt so depressed.

Social services from the child protection offices, or whatever institution, didn't find me until 2 days later. Our neighbors probably heard me sobbing and called them. They took me to an orphanage and after a few days there a tall woman came up to me. She said that she was a doctor and that she was going to help me to accept the fact that I had to live at the orphanage for a while.

No, I don’t think that place was bad. I think it was a disaster. I mean, I lived there with a bunch of other different children and not everybody was nice to me. Once, an older girl named Vicky accused me of stealing, because she’d found a chocolate bar under my pillow. She said that this bar was given to her by a lady who always came to visit Vicky. But I didn’t know that. It was my first week there and I’d just happened to find that chocolate bar on the floor and hidden it so I could eat it later. I didn’t know that it was anybody else’s or that I was not supposed to do it. So, I’d gotten punished.

However, being punished wasn’t new to me. My dad would always find a reason to say that I did something wrong. I won't go in detail; I’ll just say that my body was never without any bruises, as far as I remember. My dad wasn’t mean, he just had some problems with self-control, as mom would call it. One day I saw her crying. She said that my dad had left us and since he was the only breadwinner we would soon be out of food and money. He came back in three or four days, but the days without him were surprisingly peaceful for me.

But then both of them were gone and I don’t know what happened. I mean, I was asking about them every day, but none of the grownups in that orphanage knew anything. And about the grownups… different people who wanted to adopt a child would come to see us pretty often. They would watch us playing, bring us something tasty, and even talk to some of us. It reminded me of a pet shop, where you look at puppies, trying to figure out which one would fit in with you the most. I didn’t want to be a puppy. I was sure that the day would come when my mom and dad would find me and take me home.

But they didn’t. One day, I accidentally overheard two of our teachers talking about my parents. It turned out that the police had found my mom in a rehab center. I couldn’t believe my ears! They’d found my mom! I was definitely not supposed to hear that news, but it was so inspiring that I just couldn’t stop thinking of the day when she would finally come and take me home. I spent days and nights counting minutes until the moment I'd see my mom again. I was drawing lots of different pictures to give to her. I even stopped being angry at stupid Vicky, who had been down on me ever since that chocolate incident and kept teasing me.

One day she, as usual, was bragging to everybody about a cake the woman who wanted to adopt her had given to her. Vicky was supposed to share it with everybody, but she had all intentions of dropping the piece which was supposed to be mine on the floor. I wanted to punch her in the eye and told her that she might be getting adopted soon, but I was about to see my real mom. She said that I was a liar and Ms. Patterson, the headmaster, heard it, and… Well, I had to have a serious talk with her.

It turned out that I had misunderstood the information I’d heard. They had really found my mom, but she didn’t want to take me. She denied her responsibility as a parent and said that she was ready to sign any papers for any family that would ever want to have me. This almost killed me. At first, my dad dumped me as if I was nothing, and now my mom was happy to not be my mom anymore..

Music by Epidemic Sound:
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